I am such a ...

This post is talking about my personality, as I've promised. =]

First thing is. . I just reread my first post to get the hang of my tone in the first post. Some times the tones of the posts may be completely [ yes, I do mean COMPLETELY ] different and there is a 90% chance of my blog NOT getting hacked by people which is to say, it's still me typing in a different tone. I think my tone would be different when I'm happy, sad, or angry. I hope that the future posts would be like this and my first post so that no one would know how crazy am I.


Anyway, my birthday falls on the july month, which indicates that my horoscope is LEO, which I am proud of, because my idol's horoscope is the same as mine! Okay, that's out of the subject, sorry, but I can't help it, I just LOVE him so much. Oops, too many commas. Alright, get back to the subject, yeah?

Leo is described as a proud person who seeks attention which is absolutely damn correct, for me at least. But if you want to date a leo, don't give her/him too much attention because that would just.. well.. make her/him bored of you [ but of course, don't completely ignore the poor thing ]. And see the picture? In this case, I'm a L.A.BRAT. =]


A few days ago, a unknown caller called, I answered and the guy asked me to guess who I think he is. First, he disguised his voice as a girl, which he failed miserably as I immediately know he is of the male gender, and asked me to guess who he is. I have no idea who he is though, at that time. He then stopped faking his voice after some time of rebuting that I do not know who is it, but I still don't know who is it though [ Yes, I'm very dumb and I am such an ass to forget my friend's voice ] and today I told my friend, M about it because the mysterious person smsed me and I remembered about the event. M was irritated for me [ not about telling her about it now, about the guy pestering me ] and asked me to just smsed him back 'who the fuck are you' but I was not irritated at all [ and I did not sms that, of course ]. I was feeling as though this is a good thing and yeah, I was glad to recieve this attention which I rarely get. [ You all are probably thinking I'm crazy, which I think the same. LOL. ]

M started to look guilty then, and she told me that maybe it's her friends who prank called me as she gave her friends my number and told them about me. I immediately felt shocked of course, and used a jokingly voice to remarked on it so she would not get angry or sad. But secretly deep in my heart, I was estatic. Glad that they remembered about my number and all. Hahas. But anyway, the unknown caller smsed back and told me his name which is one of my friends. I was still estatic though I did not show my happiness to my friends. [ And after today, I found out that I'm totally like a mental freak. ]

Another thing about me is that I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve [ or face ]. I would hide it, though I can talk on and on and on about things. Sometimes, I'll tell M and some other friends but sometimes I would just keep it to myself. I never tell my troubles and all to my family, the reason being is because I feel uneasy and because of a embarrassing experience I had. I was in Primary 5 or 6 and felt stressed and I think I am REALLY crazy that time as I wrote crazy thoughts and everything that I had bottled up : Me with no friends, feeling stressed and other things [ WITH A BLUE WHITEBOARD MARKER ON THE PLASTIC SURFACE ON THE CABINET IN THE ROOM ME AND MY SISTER SHARED, my god, I'm so childish ]. The result: My sister chided me. I felt embarrassed of course, and so from that time onwards, I do not wear my emotions on my sleeve to my family at all. Even when my leg bumped into the wall or I hurt myself, I just do not say anything. Instead, I told some of the problems and troubles of mine to friends. So my friends are my emotional support... While I give my family support [ or maybe not ].


I am also shy when it comes to talking with strangers alone. If my friends are with me, I can act like I'm a cheerful, outgoing and crazy person but if I'm alone and I met people outside, I probably would shut up. But sometimes I just feel at ease and talk with some strangers like they are my long-time-no-see friends. And also, I would not talk much if I'm with some friends whom were my friend's friends and my friend is not around. Confusing? For example, if K is one of M's friend, when M is not around, I would not talk much with K. Reason? I do not know what to chat about and I do not want to steal her friend [ alright the stealing part is lame but I just felt like that ]. I think many people thinks that I'm EMO and unfriendly and some of my friend's friends would think I talk with them alot infront of my friend but when away from her, I do not want to talk to them [ which means I act friendly and nice ] But in fact, the problem is just that I do not know how to strike a conversation. Now I'm trying to learn, though there isn't much people I meet out there often and well, I also could not just randomly picked a stranger from the streets and say,' Hi! What's your name? ' right? People would think I escaped from WoodBridge Hospital's section of unstable mentality of people. [ And sometimes I could not even talk to my not-so-close friends whom isn't my friend's friend alone. So PATHETIC right? I know. ] Anyway, if I met anyone of you coincidentally and I shut my trap, please do not think that I do not want to talk to you.

I am also not contented with some things, like my results whereby I got good results but I still go on and on about that stupid careless mistakes, so my dear friends and readers, sorry and bear with me, okay?

The last thing is that ; When friends get angry with me, I'll feel afraid and scared of losing them. Okay, perhaps it'll happen when she/he is angry but I'm not, because if we both are angry, I probably would lose my mind and forget about being scared. I also do not like people to lie to me [ I mean, who does? ] or I will get angry instead. =]

I will try to improve my personality and all so yeah. Oh Oh Oh!! And, you can see that, I disgress alot on the blog. I type everything in my thoughts, sometimes even my secret [ I have just typed 1 out - about the childish incident with my sister ] which I do not even mention a single word about it when talking with friends. And of course, people may get offended but please do not mind as this is only my opinion. You have yours too and can say it out too, but don't go on spamming about ' This is crap ' or ' What the fish, how could you say that' as this is MY opinion. Get it? No offence, seriously.

Well, the rest of my life and character is up to you to read about here as I could not judge myself the same as you judge me. =] Anyways, the point that this post is talking about is that I am such a attention-seeker, sentimental, one-who-regards-friends-as-world, shy-when-alone, easily-embarrassed, outgoing-and-talkative-when-comfortable person, not to mention crazy. I'm stopping here now and I'll have to rack my brains for a topic since I'm experience-less with things and life. Sayonara [ Bye ]